12 Traits of the Truly Confident
Confidence takes many forms, from the arrogance of Floyd Mayweather to the quiet self-assurance of Jane Goodall. True confidence—as opposed to the false confidence people project to mask their insecurities—has a look all its own.
When it comes to confidence, one thing is certain: truly confident people always have the upper hand over the doubtful and the skittish, because they inspire others and they make things happen.
I think Henry Ford said it best:
Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right.
Ford’s notion that your mentality has a powerful effect upon your ability to succeed is manifest in the results of a recent study at the University of Melbourne where confident people went on to earn higher wages and get promoted more quickly than anyone else.
Learning to be confident is clearly important, but what is it that truly confident people do that sets them apart from everyone else?
I did some digging to uncover the 12 cardinal habits of truly confident people, so that you can incorporate these behaviors into your repertoire.
1. They Get Their Happiness From Within
Happiness is a critical element of confidence, because in order to be confident in what you do, you have to be happy with who you are.
People who brim with confidence derive their sense of pleasure and satisfaction from their own accomplishments, as opposed to what other people think of their accomplishments. They know that no matter what anyone says, you’re never as good or bad as people say you are.
2. They Don’t Pass Judgment
Confident people don’t pass judgment on others because they know that everyone has something to offer, and they don’t need to take other people down a notch in order to feel good about themselves. Comparing yourself to other people is limiting. Confident people don’t waste time sizing people up and worrying about whether or not they measure up to everyone they meet.
3. They Don’t Say Yes Unless They Really Want To
Research conducted at the University of California in San Francisco shows that the more difficulty that you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression. Confident people know that saying no is healthy and they have the self-esteem to make their no’s clear. When it’s time to say no, confident people avoid phrases like “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not certain.” They say no with confidence because they know that saying no to a new commitment honors their existing commitments and gives them the opportunity to successfully fulfill them.
4. They Listen More Than They Speak
People with confidence listen more than they speak because they don’t feel like they have anything to prove. Confident people know that by actively listening and paying attention to others, they are much more likely to learn and grow. Instead of seeing interactions as opportunities to prove themselves to others, they focus on the interaction itself, because they know this is a far more enjoyable and productive approach to people.
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