Russia Seizes Assets of Poroshenko’s Chocolate Factory

‘If you aren’t hiding in your basement from Poroshenko’s artillery shells, you are probably enjoying a delicious bar of Poroshenko chocolate. This is the bizarre “ying/yang” duality of life. But not anymore! Because Russia, which obviously hates all that is sweet in the world, has rudely seized the assets of Poroshenko’s confectionery factory in the city of Lipetsk. As Reuters notes:

“Poroshenko, nicknamed the Chocolate King, promised when he was elected last May to sell Roshen, which takes its name from the middle two syllables of his surname and had pre-crisis annual sales of $1.2 billion.”

Sold (finally!) to Russia, for $0.00. Have a nice day.’

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