Know the Proper Etiquette
I’m often accused of being elitist and it is unlikely this guide will endear me further to those who already resent me but when it comes to air travel, I really detest economy.
When I have to fly with the Self-Loading Freight – which mercifully, is rarely – I dose myself up on American sleeping tablets that knock me out the moment I take my cramped, uncomfortable seat.
And when I am sitting in business class, first class, or whatever kitsch name the airline happens to call it now, I, admittedly, like to play a game of ‘spot who doesn’t belong here.’
Ground staff do occasionally take pity on one or two members of the TRC (Turn Right Class) and bump their ticket up a level.
I’m all for this in theory, it’s a nice thing to do and gives everyone something for which to aspire.
But please, budget budgies, when you do Turn Left into the Shangri La at the front of the plane, behave with a little decorum.
Don’t show yourselves up within seven seconds of entering the sacred chamber.
Don’t pretend that you like it back there or that you don’t want to be up the better end of the plane with ‘the snobs’. You do, and you know it.
Follow these tips and you never know, maybe you’ll soon be playing the ‘spot who doesn’t belong here’ game too.
Act nonchalantly
When you hear the news you’re going to be moving on up, by all means, do a few cartwheels on the inside – where no one can see or hear you.
But outwardly, keep calm. Simply thank the official with a broad smile.
Carry on and act as though this is not the first time that it’s happened to you. It happens regularly, actually. Terribly kind of them to keep doing it to you. Bit of a nuisance, if anything.
Three words: play it down.
Leave a Reply