Heroic Reistance to Green Tyranny
Who’d want to buy a VW right now?
Me, for one. The VW I currently drive is, by some margin, the most exciting car I’ve ever owned.
It’s a Golf Four-Motion which I picked up for a song on Ebay. From the outside it looks deceptively ordinary: just the standard, boxy Golf body with no distinguishing marks or features to tell you how secretly evil it is. But underneath the bonnet is a ludicrously inappropriate 2.8 litre V6 engine. On a Golf. Imagine!
It goes like a rocket. Or rather – as the bloke who sold it to me so exquisitely put it – it goes like a stabbed rat.And that’s a quality I appreciate in a car. Since I got my Golf Four-Motion, boring chores like trips to the shop to pick up some milk have been transformed. A free blow job on the way there; a free blow job on the way back. What’s not to like?
VW are welcome to use that line in their next ad campaign if they like. But I expect they won’t because right now they’ll be concentrating on keeping their heads down.
It’s true though. VW makes cars for people whose main priority is cars, as opposed to people who want to show how guilty they feel about doing something quite as disgusting as driving.
Which is the real reason, I suspect, that they ended up being targeted by the green Gestapo, in the form of the Environmental Protection Agency, which has caught VW out doctoring their emissions tests to make their cars look greener than they actually are. (Invented by Hitler; destroyed by the green Gestapo. Oh the irony!)
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