Got an Aga, Silver Birds, a Saggy Sofa?
Regardless of what is in it, first you must know that you must never call your house a ‘home’. You can be ‘at home’ (on invitations) but the bricks and mortar are your house. A ‘home’ is too suburban.
Now we have that sorted, let’s see how your house fares when it comes to its class credentials. Here are 12 objects and features that make a house pretty special.
How many do you have?
An Aga
A little hackneyed now but still a good sign that you’re in a house of good standing.
An inherited Aga (fingers crossed its cream) is obviously smarter than one that has been bought; accordingly, the older and rustier the Aga the better and preferably oil or gas. A pat on the back for each dog found lolling in front of this ‘classy’ cooker.
Should one have been forced out of the main house for financial reasons and relocated into the gatehouse, the first thing to move is the original Aga, which gets installed into the newer, smaller kitchen – whatever the cost.
Silver photo frames
For any house to be considered upmarket, there should be lots of these, ideally, ones that have been handed down or given to you or family members for landmark birthdays and anniversaries.
Extra kudos if the picture of you meeting royalty is in one of the smaller ones, tucked away somewhere so inconspicuous you may as well not have it on display. It is never good manners to brag.
Silver birds
When not in use, smart dining tables (French polished, obvs) can be spotted from afar by the gleam of a pair of silver partridges or pheasants, adorning the center and keeping watch over the empty room.
Should you not yet have a pair of country birds for the table, ensure it never sees a runner placed across it (when in or out of use). It will just make the table look like some bubblegum-pink taffeta runway for the airplane of good taste fleeing the country.
Decanters
Also in the dining room should be numerous decanters, cut-glass or plain – no one minds, but a proclivity of these is a must.
Decanter tags around the neck are sometimes seen as a bit suspect, so make sure you don’t have one for every decanter to avoid total social seclusion.
Do you use a claret jug to serve certain types of red wine? You do? Super – these are very recherché…
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