Office Pool 2018
1) In 2018,
- the Democrats will win control of the House of Representatives.
- the Republicans will retain control of the Senate.
- President Donald Trump will provoke the use of the 25th Amendment by his Cabinet to remove him temporarily from office.
- the key issue in the congressional races will be whether or not to impeach President Trump.
2) At the end of 2018,
- more American troops will be deployed around the world than are today.
- the United States will be directly involved in a land war in North Korea.
- the United States will renounce its membership in NATO.
- all American combat troops will be back home in the United States.
3) In 2018, President Trump will
- issue more executive orders than President Barack Obama did in eight years.
- build a wall along the Texas-Mexico border without congressional authorization.
- use military force to prevent former New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie from taking over “The Apprentice.”
- stop using Twitter.
4) In 2018, the Supreme Court will
- reverse Roe v. Wade, thereby handing off the abortion controversy to the states.
- find that the right to carry arms outside the home is protected by the Second Amendment.
- outlaw the government’s mass surveillance of Americans.
- have its oral arguments televised.
5) In 2018, President Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin will
- race to see who can hack the other’s Twitter account more effectively.
- proclaim their personal and eternal friendship to each other.
- agree to produce a shirtless 2019 calendar together.
- threaten each other over Russian military forces in Finland.
6) In 2018, WikiLeaks will release
- secret tapes of the meeting in Trump Tower between members of the Trump campaign, including Donald Trump Jr., and Russian agents.
- Hillary Clinton’s favorite yoga positions.
- proof that Bill Clinton is a crook.
- emails showing where President Obama was born.
7) In 2018, President Trump will
- wage a hostile takeover of NBC.
- fire Lorne Michaels and hire the entire “Saturday Night Live” cast to work for the Trump Organization.
- pick more fights than a fourth-grade schoolyard bully.
- renounce building the wall.
8) In 2018, former Gov. Christie will
- attempt professional wrestling for his next career.
- try a cable TV gig at MSNBC and hate it because it is too much work.
- become a roadie for Bruce Springsteen’s next tour.
- curse the day he first heard of the George Washington Bridge.
9) In 2018, Sen. Ted Cruz will
- retire to Texas.
- announce that he will challenge President Trump in 2020.
- be appointed to the Supreme Court.
- face a very serious challenge by a popular and wealthy Republican congressman from Texas.
10) In 2018, President Trump will begin his “I Am the Greatest” tour by
- listening to Hillary Clinton stump speeches.
- sitting through a dinner with Paul Ryan and Buddy Ryan arguing about Federal Reserve policy.
- giving a lecture at Princeton University about how bad a president Woodrow Wilson was.
- hosting “Saturday Night Live.”
11) In 2018, the news media will
- embrace fake news 24/7 by establishing formal fake news outlets.
- make billions covering the Trump administration.
- be ostracized by President Trump.
- largely be very frustrated as President Trump continues to bypass and ignore them.
12) In 2018, former President Obama will
- start a health insurance company.
- become the president of the University of Chicago.
- show up everywhere.
- be shunned by fellow Democrats.
13) In 2018, the World Series will be won by
- the New York Yankees, after Jerry Jones buys the team.
- the Boston Red Sox, after cheating.
- the Los Angeles Dodgers.
- the San Francisco Giants, after Nancy Pelosi and her husband buy the team.
14) After the 2018 season, the Super Bowl will be won by
- the Dallas Cowboys, after Jerry Jones sells the team.
- the Pittsburgh Steelers
- the New England Patriots, after another Bill Belichick/Tom Brady cheating scandal.
- the Cleveland Browns, after a miracle.
15) In 2018, global warming will be
- embraced by President Trump as part of a deal he will later renounce.
- exposed as a hoax.
- largely forgotten.
- the subject of another encyclical by Pope Francis.
16) One year from today,
- Pope Francis will be voluntarily retired and living as a simple parish priest in a slum in Buenos Aires.
- divorced and remarried Catholics will lawfully be able to receive the Holy Eucharist.
- Roman Catholic cardinals will have deposed Pope Francis for heresy.
- Antonin Scalia will be on his way to formal sainthood.
17) One year from today,
- the United States will have imposed a 50 percent tariff on all goods made in China.
- the Federal Reserve will be retaining artificially low interest rates.
- more Americans will keep their cash in shoe boxes than in banks.
- bank bankruptcies will be happening once a week.
18) One year from today,
- we will all know how wealthy President Trump is — or isn’t.
- Mike Pence will have announced that he will be running for president in 2020.
- the Islamic State group will be history.
- former Gov. Christie and California Gov. Jerry Brown will be cellmates in a federal prison.
19) One year from today,
- Hillary and Bill Clinton will have been indicted by a federal grand jury for operating a criminal enterprise.
- Roger Clemens will be in the Baseball Hall of Fame.
- none of President’s Trump’s 2017 advisers will be working for him at the White House.
- more people will be on Obamacare than were in 2017.
20) In the long run,
- everything the government has it has stolen.
- everything the government says is a lie.
- that government is best which governs least.
- all of the above are true.
My choices are 1a, b, d; 2b; 3b; 4b; 5d; 6a; 7d; 8b; 9d; 10d; 11d; 12d; 13c; 14b; 15a; 16b; 17b; 18a; 19a; 20d.
Happy new year.
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