Author: Jack Perry

Hey, remember that 80s movie “Back To The Future”? Yeah, I know you do, but you won’t admit it. Just like you won’t admit to those Boy George and Culture Club records you’ve been feverishly trying to find in the garage before your grandkids do. That, and the photos of you with the front bangs of your hair looking like a breaking wave out at Malibu. Don’t look at me! My style never changed: T-shirt, jeans, work boots. To paraphrase a country song, I was not-cool when not-cool wasn’t cool. But, listen, didn’t ya love the 80s? Great movies like … Continue reading →

The post Back to the Cold War appeared first on LewRockwell.

This Russian airliner disaster is highly suspicious. They’re now saying an external impact brought this plane down. See the article here. There’s no way that ISIS had the type of surface-to-air missile that could bring down this bird unless the United States or Saudi Arabia gave it to them. I wouldn’t rule it out, but I doubt it at this point. Some geniuses are saying it was a bomb placed on board. Hey guys, that’s not an “external impact”, that’s called an internal explosion. We know what that does because we’ve seen that before when a 747 was brought down … Continue reading →

The post Did a US Drone Down the Russian Metrojet? appeared first on LewRockwell.

Is it just me, or does our Secretary of Defense look like a certain comedian from the 1950s? I mean, it’s hard to take this guy seriously. Not because of that, but because of what he says. Take a gander at this article. It seems our illustrious SecDef has made the earth-shattering discovery that people die in wars. Gee, I thought they just went directly to jail, did not pass Go, and did not collect $200. “This will have consequences for Russia itself which is rightly fearful of attacks … in coming days, the Russians will begin to suffer from … Continue reading →

Well, I mentioned a Doomsday Falafel on here, so we might as well have a Doomsday Turkey since Thanksgiving is fast approaching. Yeah, I know, there’s the question of what stuffing to use on such a bird. It certainly won’t be stuffed with sanity, I’ll tell you that. But we won’t need to worry about it getting done quickly, since the flash from a nuclear weapon detonation will make that tricky cooking time guesswork a thing of the past. Whooosh! Ah, nice and crispy! Say, where’s the gravy? A Doomsday Turkey?! Why…yes! Have you seen the news? Evidently, there’s already … Continue reading →

You’d almost think mass murder is a new reality show on TV. Here we go again, another one in Oregon. And, of course, the usual calls for gun control. Excuse me, but we’re asking the wrong questions and having the wrong conversations. The REAL one we need to have, we never will. Has anyone at all noticed that a couple days after this shooting, it was announced the U.S. military had “accidently” bombed a Doctors Without Borders hospital in Afghanistan? And killed double the number of people murdered in Oregon? Where will the candlelight vigils be for these poor people? … Continue reading →

Hey, remember when ol’ Dubya said, “Why is our children not learning?” I think he was on to something there. No, wait, hear me out, I haven’t been on an espresso IV drip. I think we need to apply this theorem to our government. To wit, “Why is our politicians not learning?” The solution is this. Remember back in the day, those of you around my age of 40-and-over, when if you did poorly in school, they made you attend Summer School? Look no further, America! I proudly present: Summer School For Politicians! Yes, it all boils down to education, … Continue reading →

Hey, did you know we spent over $2.7 billion dollars on some blimps the military wanted? No, I’m serious, I’m not making this up. And I haven’t been huffing helium from those blimps, either. I read this in the newspaper the other day. I didn’t know we had blimps! I saw a blimp pass overhead here the other day, but, alas, it was on its way to a football game and not valiantly defending us from the return of the Hindenburg. I was disappointed. I wanted to see what $2.7 billion dollars bought us besides an electronic sign for Sam’s … Continue reading →

Hark! Hearest thou yonder sound? It is the sound of the United States government becoming OBSOLETE in the Middle East! Check out the news. See that? Now IRAQ is going to cooperate with Russia, Syria, and Iran to defeat ISIS over in Syria. HA HA HA! How do ya like THEM apples, Obama!? Hey, you can’t say I didn’t warn you. I said this could happen last week right here on Lew Rockwell when I said “Iraq might just join the party, too”. First, Putin went to the UN and rightfully gave the United States a good, swift kick in the … Continue reading →

I’ve gotten some rather interesting emails regarding my article “The Doomsday Falafel”. Some people were furious—how DARE I say that! “Don’t you realize that Islam is out to take over the world??!!” And, my personal favorite, “You’re an idiot!” So, it appears it’s time to shine a bit more light on to a subject I felt was already well-illuminated. First off, if you don’t believe what the government, politicians, and media tell you about other things, why do you then believe them about Muslims? Gee, let’s see…Ah! How about this one? “The Huns are bayoneting babies in Belgium!” Wow, really?! … Continue reading →

Ay, ay, ya, Ben Carson…what are we gonna do with ya? Hopefully, not elect you as President of the United States. Have a look at this kernel of wisdom from good ol’ Ben Carson: “There is such a thing as an American dream and the American way. Anybody is welcome to come to America, but they don’t get to change who we are.” I nearly fell off my chair laughing at this one. So, hey Ben, does this mean everyone here better be eating corn, beans, and squash? Because that’s what everyone here was eating before the people called “Amuuricuns” manifested here. And just … Continue reading →

Vladimir Putin is pulling Assad’s fat from the fire in Syria. At least that’s how it looks to America. He’s sending military assets to Syria and told Assad all he needs to do is just whistle and Russian troops will be on the way. The U.S. government is still wondering what all of this means. The U.S. government doesn’t realize that in the grand scheme of things, it all comes down to knowing culture. Russians play chess. America plays poker. Putin was looking at moves on the board ten years down the road. America was only worried about bluffing its way … Continue reading →

Well, Ben Carson stepped in it. He said, “Taqiyya is a component of Sharia that allows, and even encourages you to lie to achieve your goals.” This was in a criticism he had of Muslims. Hey Ben, this whole Taqiyya thing isn’t just Muslims. That’s all of you guys running for president. Plus, the entire United States government as a whole. Come on, Ben, really?! You just described a campaign promise! Oh, wait, is a lie somehow better if it comes from a guy with a nice tie? How does Ben distinguish between those alleged liars and the liars he’d … Continue reading →

So, continuing on with skewering America’s Funniest Homeland Phrases, let’s examine this old warhorse, if you’ll pardon the pun: “Freedom isn’t free”. Wow, snappy, huh? I wonder how many post-it notes and crayons they went through scribbling that one, what with all the rough drafts and all? Hmmm…so freedom isn’t free? Then what is it, exactly? A pay-as-you-go plan? A rent-to-own thing? Ah! No, I’ve got it! It’s a payday loan! I knew I’d figure it out! Yes, yes, I know what they mean. This one is always trotted out when the U.S. is discussing yet another episode of mass … Continue reading →

Something needs to be said about being an American. And that “something” is this: Hey, people, we ain’t all that special, m’kay? Oh, gee, did I just break wind on the concept of American Exceptionalism? Well, look, that’s because it’s actually American Acceptionalism, you see? You’re expected to accept every lie you’re told by this farce of a government. Even more hilarious is they expect the rest of the world to accept those lies also. Excuse me, but much of the rest of the world has heard this so many times, they’re doing the Uncle Duffy with Uncle Sam. What’s … Continue reading →

You know, I’ll tell you a secret. I used to be very depressed over the whole state of affairs in this country. Then one day, it came to me that it’s all just a grand illusion. None of it is actual reality. Therefore, one should laugh at it and also laugh at the clowns taking this all seriously. As if voting in Flookey McPheerson is going to actually make a bit of difference in the grand scheme of things. Once we have President McPheerson, he will start wars, of course. And real people will die in them. Lots of people will … Continue reading →