The Dirty Money Laundry at HSBC: A Parody

By Bill Ferguson

Here at the Hong Kong and Shanghai Bank
We serve the Queen and those of peerage rank,
Got billions of pounds, and opprobrium,
For the financing of Royal trade in opium.

Chorus:
For the financing of Royal trade in opium!

We finance all that traffic so carefullee,
That’s how we launder money at HSBC.

Chorus:
They finance all that traffic so carefullee,
That’s how they launder money at HSBC.

There is so much dope to buy and sell;
We’ve accounts of the Sinaloa drug cartel.
Some cash they got selling their cocaine
Obama got for his two thousand eight campaign!

Chorus:
Obama got for his two thousand eight campaign!

I guess that’s why we’ve always gotten off scott free,
With laundering their money at HSBC.

Chorus:
He’d guess that’s why they’ve always gotten off scott free,
With laundering their money at HSBC.

Convicting us, it seemed such a cinch,
But the DOJ sent Loretta Lynch,
She made our bargain so benevolent,
She got the nomination of the President.

Chorus:
She got the nomination of the President!

Deferring prosecution with a fine so wee,
So we can launder money at HSBC.

Chorus:
Deferring prosecution with a fine so wee,
So they can launder money at HSBC.

Bandar bin Sultan, of Arabia the Prince
To finance jihadis spares no expense,
As his Al-Yamama funding grew,
So Al-Qaeda did, and Islamic State too.

Chorus:
So Al-Qaeda did, and Islamic State too!

When assassins have there banking needs,
They can come launder money at HSBC.

Chorus:

When assassins have there banking needs,
They can come launder money at HSBC!

With Wall Street and with London crashing down,
As the raids, subpoenas, are circling around,
I am now looking forward to a prison cell;
If I’ve a soul, I fear that it will burn in Hell.

Chorus:
Had he a Soul, he fears that it will burn in Hell!

But p’rhaps while in Hell, I invited will be,
To tea, with Her Majesty, at HSBC!

Chorus:
But p’rhaps while in Hell, he invited will be,
To tea, with Her Majesty, at HSBC!