Beware the Offendatrons

From Page 3 to Jeremy Clarkson, Victoria’s Secret to sausages, it seems everything offends somebody these days.

These easily-upset liberals now even have a name: offendotrons. You can bet that, right now, on a university campus somewhere, there’s a change.org petition being hatched about practically anything you can think of.

Here are eight of the most ludicrous yet trivial things that people have been getting upset about recently.

1. Clapping your hands

This week, Britain’s booming university mollycoddle culture soared to new and absurd heights when the NUS Women’s Conference asked delegates to stop clapping as it “triggered anxiety”. Bizarrely, top brass asked the audience to instead switch to “jazz hands”. As we processed the idea of future equalities ministers doing their best Al Jolson impersonations in a silent yet anxiety-free auditorium, social media asked the pertinent question: how will these people ever function in the real world?

2. The Athena tennis girl poster

The iconic erotic image that launched a generation of healthy fantasies has racked up 20 million sales since its 1979 release. Now the Everyday Sexism Project has, of course, declared it “sexist”. It all kicked off last week when the All England Tennis Club tweeted that “Tennis Girl” was to feature in a Powerful Posters display. Critics wanted it “eradicated from history” but Wimbledon refused, no doubt gloriously adding to ticket sales, proving that protest is the best marketing device going.

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