We can pay £7billion to fix parliament, or much less to an arsonist. You choose

News that restoration of the Houses of Parliament is quoted at £7bn should leave the authorities with two options. Either they source a reliable arsonist and attempt to pull off an insurance job. Or they take the increasingly well-trodden path to renaming it the Qatar Houses of Parliament. We shall explore both these proposals shortly, along with the possibility that this is an alien plot to assess the collapse of resistance in early 21st-century Britain.

First, let us just absorb the fact that the quote for restoration of the Palace of Westminster was pegged at £3bn in March. “A not inconsequential sum of public money,” declared Speaker Bercow, with the worldly air of a man who knows you could get a short war for that and still have change for a duck house. An official report now concludes that up to £7bn could be required.’

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