Planet of the Slaves

Mendax News Service

I must be one of the very few people who has never seen any of the Planet of the Apes movies, but around the same time of the first one there was a commercial failure made called Planet of the Slaves.

If I remember correctly it was produced by Milton Mayer, with a screenplay by Lysander Spooner and starred a B-grade actor named Robert Nozick who plays the protagonist W. L “Bill” Garrison.

Garrison and his band land on a planet that is governed by a kakistocracy of omnicompetent – or so they think – men. The people seem happy and brag to the visitors about their freedom and how they have all kinds of rights that are protected and enumerated by their foundational charter. The visitors discover that the people of the planet are known as the Snacirema and that they are hospitable to strangers, but easily herded into a sort of unanimity of thought. There are a few independent thinkers, but they are derided as “Nockites” or “Remnantists.”

There are prohibitions against having certain plants because somebody thinks you might do something harmful with them. Imagine that, outlawing plants! There are also certain drugs and treatments you aren’t allowed to use because they are “unapproved.” The great god government has decreed that you can’t use them, so needless to say they aren’t covered under your mandatory insurance.

Garrison: That does sound like government is more intrusive than I had heard, but how does it keep track of who’s doing what?

Chodorovic: Everybody is required to send in a tax return with their address and an identifying number unless they didn’t have any “taxable income.” To claim dependents, each one also has to have a number.To open a bank account you need a number and the banks have to report any “suspicious activity.”It’s considered suspicious if you structure you banking transactions to avoid being reported. There are tag readers that record your location and time. All of your mail is photographed front and back. All of your electronic communications are intercepted and stored. It’s not known if it’s being done, but you could be tracked and recorded continuously by having a phone on you.

Garrison: Do you think it’s possible to reverse this?

Chodorovic: It’s an uphill battle, but if I could do one thing with the wave of a magic wand it would be to forbid government involvement of any kind in schooling. No compulsion, no certification, no textbook advice, no grants of money or property, no teacher licensing, no tax credits, no nothing. And if I had a second wave of the wand I would utterly forbid any taxation of income from whatever source derived. Without funding there can be no tyranny.

Garrison: Well, I’ve got to be leaving for home tomorrow, but if I ever get back to Earth I’m going to see how you’re progressing – or regressing – with your program of deconstruction.

Chodorovic: It’s at least a fifty-year project.

Reprinted with permission from Different Bugle.

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