Whoopie, Yeah, Whatever…

Lots of people out there are getting too attached to the upcoming 2016 Presidential Elections. Hey, guys, guess what? We’ve still got pretty much a year left of the plain-wrap mac-n-cheese of presidents. Well, that’s not fair to say. Plain wrap mac-n-cheese actually delivers what the box says and doesn’t deliver things you didn’t pay for or want. Look, I hate to rain on peoples’ parades, well, actually, no I don’t. Just call me Stormy. But there’s a lot of damage this dude can do in the meantime!

How many executive orders can Obama pass in the meantime? Right. To find that out, you’d need to get into some algebraic equation involving the number of pens in the White House and the number of days he has left in office. By the time he’s done, the only gun you might legally have left in your collection is a BB gun, and that one registered and trigger locked in a gunsafe. For that matter, maybe he’ll figure crossbows look a lot like guns, so we’ll need a “Common Sense Crossbow Dictate, er, Executive Order. Everyone is so attached to the wrong view that this upcoming election is all that matters, they can’t see the forest for the executive orders. We might even be involved in a war, or, shall I say, deeper in a couple of them we’re already Tarbabied into. Anyone realize this guy could go ahead and send a couple of infantry divisions into Syria for his last week in office?

And speaking of the upcoming elections, hey man, I’m tired of hearing about the Muslims. I want to know this and only this: Who has an actual plan to ABOLISH Obamacare? Look, I’m not especially impressed by allegiances to this-or-that religious credo, lack thereof, or which ones you mentioned you don’t particularly care for. They can only come to the door and hand you a tract or ask for a donation outside the supermarket. They can’t ding your tax return for failing to comply, force you to enroll in their religions, or cause health insurance providers to collapse and leave their entire customer base out in the cold after enrolling. Man, imagine if a church did that? “Well, I know you enrolled here as a Catholic for the last Churchcare sign-up period, but the church folded because we can’t afford hymnals, so you’ll need to look for another religious provider. The nearest is the Lutheran church around the corner. Sorry.”

I want to know who’s going to pull the plug on Obamacare. Everyone talks about it, but where is the guy to stand up and say that since Obama can play executive order bingo, that SAME thing will be used to end Obamacare. “Oh, well, the president can’t legally do that?” Oh, he can’t now? As if that has stopped Obama so far? Or Bush before him? Come on, who’s got the “genuines” to stand up and say, “I will use an executive order to end Obamacare”, then? I don’t think we’ve seen the actual Obamacare has yet to do yet. It’s like an old minefield that dates back to the Vietnam War. No one knows where the dangers are until they step on one. And some go off all by themselves without anyone stepping on them. Someone needs to stop worrying about where his hat is in the ring and start using the part of the body the hat goes on.

Back to this year, I don’t think we’ve seen anything yet. It’s his last year in office and everyone is attached to the candidates as if any of those schlemiels has anything to offer us but more of the same. This is like heading down the dented can and near-sell-by-date clearance aisle at the grocery store. Yes, the prices are lower, but only on canned kidney beans, generic chili, and plain wrap baked beans no one wants. And, like the candidates, also full of smelly gas.  Instead of telling us how they’re going to unObama this country, they’re just adding more dented dummies and more soon-to-expire hams. How is that a solution? We’re looking for steak, not more baloney.

I’m sorry, but this campaign has all the promise of things referred to as “ab-so-luet-ly FREE!” in late-night TV infomercials selling us crap that never actually works. But, really, you would have a better chance of dicing an onion properly in the White House than getting anything worthwhile out of the Scam House. Color me cynical, but first of all: We ain’t seen nothing yet as afr as the damage Obama has left to do. And we ain’t seen nothing yet as far as the damage future presidents will do, too.

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