What’s Your Car Horoscope?
We can’t seriously say you were born to drive a particular car if you were born under a particular sign. Astrology isn’t so simple. Nor is life. Practical issues prevent us all from driving our dreams.
If, when you look up your sign, your jaw drops, please remember this is a discussion, not a prescription. Remember too, that your sign can impact HOW you drive as much as WHAT you drive.
In compiling this list, I’ve tried to answer just one question. What kind of vehicle your sign would most resemble… if only you were a car?
ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
You would be: A sports coupé
If you were a car, you would surely be a sports coupé. This design of every vehicle in the class says something about ‘getting there… and looking good.’
I’m not, of course, trying to say that anyone born under this sign is an example of style over substance, but every driver of a Mustang or a Camaro must sometimes wrestle with the physical limitations of their sleek machine. It looks oh so swell. It holds the road oh so well. But does it actually hold quite as much shopping as you need to take home? And even if the trunk is more accommodating than a pair of elasticated slacks, has it also got a room for the child-seat, the snow chains, the golf clubs and great-grandma Mabel’s special wheelchair? Be careful, please, how you answer.
A person born under Aries will find some clever way to squeeze all this into the coupé in just the same way as they’ll squeeze a crazy amount of action and challenge into each and every day.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)
You would be: A pick-up truck
Some astrologers might balk at the idea of a Taurean being the equivalent of any kind of car. They might grasp the creative concept, but if asked whether your practical persona might more suit a sedated sedan, they’d reply that you’re so industrious, you’re more like an elegant crane or one of those expensive digging machines we see on downtown building projects.
What do they mean by this? That you’re slow and cumbersome? That you can cope with any stress or strain the world cares to throw your way? That’s so unfair. It fails to take your artistry into account. Or your gracefulness. Or your simple, sexy sense of style.
Taureans, it’s true, have gravitas. Depth. Importance. But they also know how to look good, sound good and do good to the hearts of others. I’m inclined to suggest that at heart, you’re a nifty pick-up truck. Not just any old engine, either. A Canyon. A Titan. Or, even though you belong to the sign of the bull, a Ram!
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