The Dark Side of Your Star Sign
Leos are leaders, Librans are fair-minded and those born under the sign of Virgo compulsively clean. We all know the good traits our star signs are meant to bestow on us, but what about the bad?
Who’s moody, who’s stubborn and who’s (whisper it) a grade-A nightmare?
All is revealed in a new edition of a book called the Darkside Zodiac, by English astrologer Stella Hyde — a ‘grudge-bearing Cancer’. So, how do you fare?
As we reveal, some of our favourite stars could experience their own signs’ downfalls… and we even explore what jobs they might suit should their careers in the limelight come to an abrupt end.
And for people who have always wondered – the book exposes the deadly sin that their sign is most likely to suffer from…
ARIES March 21 to April 20
Greedy, argumentative, restless, willful and self-obsessed, you are the zodiac’s permanently enraged adolescent. You have a problem with authority — show you a no-entry sign and you’re up the forbidden highway like a ferret up a drainpipe. Consequently, the nation’s A&Es are an Arian’s second home.
Pathologically competitive, you have to come first and you’ll do anything to win — your concept of fair play means that you triumph. And subtle you’re not: you blunder through the world like Tigger gone rogue.
Favourite deadly sin: Wrath. It’s straightforward, uncomplicated and requires hardly any brain power. Something that’s useful for you. Just try to keep a lid on your road rage.
Romance: You’re a notches-on-the-bedpost guy or girl who always needs to be told you’re the best lover ever. Your affairs burn for, oh, several days, during which you are extravagantly possessive.
Friendships: You have rules for friends — do everything you say, admire your every action and never, ever criticise. You must be in control at every social event and get ragingly jealous if any of your friends do anything better than you.
Dream jobs: Explorer — so you can be the first and brag about it. Firefighter — finally, the chance to be a real hero.
Just don’t be tempted to start the fires.
TAURUS April 21 to May 21
You’re stupendously dull and move only when poked by a stick. A hidebound reactionary, you’re superglued into a rut several metres deep. You are an obstinate authoritarian with an overpowering urge for money. Your refusal to say the word ‘adapt’, let alone ‘change’, is a result of a lack of imagination. Your little bully brain can’t cope with anything complex, so you do nothing — and get buried alive by avalanches you refuse to notice.
Favourite Deadly Sin: Greed. ‘I’ll have them all, now’ is your first thought as a rush of desire for new stuff fogs your brain.
Romance: Good men and women have suffocated from boredom in your bed. You resent any attempt to bring spontaneity or novelty to proceedings.
Friendships: There’s a reason why the bull stands alone in a field. Partly it’s your murderous, though rare temper, but mostly it’s your obsession with money. After days of discussing your pension plans and investments, people lose the will to live.
Dream jobs: Property magnate — show you an unspoilt architectural masterpiece and you see identikit executive flats. Asset stripper — as you’re so insensitive to other’s feelings.
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