15 Things Every Man Should Know
I have something in common with Prince Harry: we both turn 30 this year. While he’s been working tirelessly on the Invictus Games, I’ve been trying – and failing – to come to terms with waving goodbye to my twenties.
Here, to mark the tombstone – I mean milestone – of our 30th birthdays, are 15 life lessons that every man should know by the time he hits the big three oh.
1. How to cook a signature dish
No, ” mean beans on toast” does not count. You’re 30 now, man – you need to have at least one dish in your arsenal with which to impress your friends.
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Top tip: perfect the Sunday roast as its praise-to-difficulty ratio is stacked in your favour – people are disproportionately impressed by an ability to cut up potatoes and shove them in the oven.
2. Never try to replicate fun
We’ve all done it. You’ve been on an amazing holiday, or to an amazing party. Everything about it was perfect: the people, the location, the timing. So why not try to replicate it? You know, plan everything meticulously so it’s exactly like it was before? Sadly, it’s never the same – you always lose that wonderful frisson of unpredictability. By 30, you know just to cherish the memories.
3. It doesn’t really matter what people think of you
Four words: you can’t please everyone. Don’t like the person I am, the person I’ve spent years cultivating? Bugger off, then. Goodbye forever.
4. Talking about university is boring
Ah uni, those were the days! Remember when you downed three pints of snakebite back-to-back and everyone cheered? Remember when you turned up to a seminar having not been to bed, eyes wide like saucers? Enough already. Yes you had a fun at uni but, seriously, it was EIGHT YEARS AGO! Time to move on.
5. It’s easiest just to tell a girl you like her
God, it was tough. You’d go through it in your head over and over again: how do you tell someone that you like them? And what if she rejects you? That horrible humiliation; that crushing self-doubt. Yeah, all that has gone by 30. Like a girl? Just tell her. Life is short.
6. Know when to call it a night
It’s 4am. You’ve just heard Everywhere by Fleetwood Mac for the second time tonight. The smell of desperation is beginning to pervade the room. Then someone says: “We need to get more booze.” “Great idea!” comes the response. Except it’s not; it never is.
7. How to choose a good wine
You don’t need to be able to witter on portentously about the grape’s integrity but you should by now be able to remain unflustered and pick a tasty wine when faced with a snooty waiter and a menu longer than War and Peace.
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