Old Cars Were Sometimes Better

New cars have many features old cars never had – LCD touchscreens and WiFi, for instance. But new cars are missing some things, too.

Maybe you remember – and wonder why?

Bumpers that could take a bump –

Until about the early-mid 1990s, most cars still had external bumpers designed to be . . . bumped. They were made of steel and so didn’t easily tear, like today’s plastic bumper covers do – leading to very expensive repairs, usually involving the replacement of the torn bumper cover and then repainting it.

So, why?

Environmental regs made chrome-plating steel bumpers expensive – so they were replaced with cheap plastic bumper covers painted body color. Underneath these plastic fascias – as they’re called – are structures designed to crumple up like tin foil, which is another reason why new cars incurs so much damage in even minor accidents. In the Bumper Days, there was often no immediately noticeable damage after bumping into another car – and if there was, it was often possible to just pull the bumper back into place.

You can’t do that with a torn plastic fascia.

Visibility –

It’s getting hard to see where you’re going, especially to the sides and behind you. It’s become so bad that most new cars have sensors that beep when you’re about to bump into something – operating on the same principle as the blind man’s cane – and cameras with TV monitors to let you see what you otherwise couldn’t. It used to be that only huge RVs had back-up cameras – because only huge RVs needed them.

So, why?

Saaaaaaaaaaaaafety regulations have turned passenger cabins into tank command centers, with about the same view of the outside world. The pillars which support the roof are easily three times as thick as they used to be – in order to support the weight of the car if it rolls onto its roof, per the federal requirement.

Of course, the poor visibility makes it more likely that the car will end up rolling onto its roof – but at least you’ll be saaaaaaaaaafe if it happens.

Most new cars also have bloated/jacked-up kaboooses – sheetmetal and plastic Kim Kardashians – and that plus often tiny and sharply slanted rear glass makes it very hard to see what’s going on behind you – and whether, in particular, there’s a child playing in the road behind you. Hence the back-up cameras and remote TV displays – which older cars never had but which all new cars have to have, per federal fatwa.

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