Author: Eric Peters

If you can’t get the tune out of your head, does that mean you’ll end up buying the car? Rich, corinthian leather will only take you so far. Here are some of the most memorable car commercials of the past 30 years. * Volkswagen “Little GTI” – If you were around in the mid-1980s, you probably know the song, even if you don’t know any German. Some exceptionally clever ad men took the 1960s hit single, Little GTO by Ronnie and the Daytonas – “Little GTO, you’re really looking fine; three deuces and a four-speed, and a 389 … listen … Continue reading →

The other day, I rolled my 1976 Pontiac Trans-Am out of the garage for a drive. As I backed it out, I looked left at the brand-new Nissan Sentra “press car” (review here) that was parked on the pad. It made my antique muscle car seem small. In part because the Sentra – like almost all new cars – is very, very tall. We are not talking inches difference here, either. But feet. Well, almost. The Nissan – which is a nothing-special “compact” sedan (in air quotes because by the standards of 20 years ago, the “compact” Sentra would be … Continue reading →

So much would be possible – if it weren’t for the government. Government, remember, is not composed of experts in much of anything – except control and manipulation. Politicians and bureaucrats are not people who do things. They force others to do things. In the car world, you have the ridiculous spectacle of non-engineer mechanical imbeciles dictating functional parameters of engine design to people who actually do know how a four-stroke engine works, the meaning of stoichiometry; who understand that there is an inherent conflict between fuel economy and “safety.” That the more a car is designed to meet the first objective, the … Continue reading →

Can a good man spend his days doing bad things and remain a good man? What if he chooses to spend his days doing bad things and could at any time elect not to do the bad things? Could decide – I am not comfortable with this; this isn’t for me – and quit, without risking anything (other than the need to find honest work)? The German SA man of the 1930s was a very bad man – but he did, at least, have the defense of being under duress. In 1930s Germany, it was socially (if not legally) difficult for any … Continue reading →

Do you know why SUVs became so popular? It wasn’t because of their, er, sportiness. Or even their utility. It was because they provided a way to get the size(especially under the hood) that American buyers wanted but which the government was doing its damndest to deny them via fuel efficiency mandates. The story goes like this: In the mid-late 1970s, Corporate Average Fuel Economy (CAFE, in government-ese) standards began to bite down. Government bureaucrats and politicians, in their usual secular Puritan we-know-best way, decided – then decreed – that new cars – generally – weren’t “efficient” enough. It wasn’t that there weren’t numerous … Continue reading →

If something’s desirable it ought not to be necessary to force people to buy it. Chipotle, for instance, doesn’t need to spend millions in de facto bribes (“campaign contributions”) to wheedle Congress into passing burrito subsidies. Nor are you forced to eat at Chipotle if burritos and bowls are not your thing. The market has voted – freely, without being prodded or pushed – that Chipotle is a good place to eat and so people go there willingly, part with their money gladly. Why doesn’t the same standard apply  to “renewable” fuels, specifically – ethanol and biodiesel? If, as we’re told, … Continue reading →

The Pope, it’s said, wears Prada. And travels by Mercedes, too. But apparently, he’d prefer you (and millions of other ordinary human beings) not. Because “global warming.” Er… make that “climate change.” The new – more general – term for the allegedly human-caused alteration of the planet’s weather. “Global warming” had to go because global cooling was also inconveniently happening. This was becoming globally embarrassing. “Climate change” is much better, because it always fits. The climate is constantly changing. And would do so (and has done so) regardless of the presence of man on this Earth. But why not just blame … Continue reading →

Maybe you remember something called “fast forward”? Back in the days of audio cassette tapes, you pushed the FF button to get to the next song on the playlist. Compact discs made tapes obsolete. Now you could just skip to the next track. But CDs were clunky – and only held a relative handful of songs. Digital music rendered CDs yesterday’s technology only about ten years after they were first mass-marketed. I think satellite radio is next-up for retirement. Because Pandora. Free music. Yes, there are some commercials – one every 10 or 15 minutes or so. But the service … Continue reading →

GM gets ribbed a lot (and rightly so) for being “government motors” … having accepted (no, demanded) enormous sums of taxpayer money in order to avoid bankruptcy. The bailouts were the corporate equivalent of EBT (which conservatives somewhat oddly or at least, inconsistently, dislike . . . their ire apparently reserved for needy and greedy humans rather than needy and greedy corporations). Anyhow, the plain fact is they’re all government motors now. Every car company is a subsidiary of Uncle. Either they are on the dole, or they are on the payroll. Does it really matter (to us, the people who pay the freight) … Continue reading →

First they hacked the Google car. Now, it appears, they – “they” being hackers – could, in principle at least, take over half-a-million Jeeps (and other Fiat-Chrysler vehicles) equipped with in-car WiFi. They’ve already done so in fact with one. According to a report just published on wired.com a guy lost control of his new Jeep Cherokee when someone – using a laptop and sail fawn – hooked in to the vehicle’s systems and began to root around in its electronic guts, kind of like that scene in the classic William Shatner episode of Twilight Zone. There’s …something on the wing! … Continue reading →

Why should anyone be subject to punishment merely for driving “x” speed? Is it not of a piece with punishing someone for merely consuming alcohol? The justification usually given is that “speeding” might cause harm. Ok, sure. The same is true about drinking beer. Someone (generally) might drink beer and beat his wife. But we do not presume (for now) that everyone who drinks beer will beat his wife – and thus, drinking beer must be forbidden. And violators of this policy punished. What about punishing (hold onto that thought) people when – and only if – they actually do cause … Continue reading →

Traffic is a problem in the United States, but not solely because there are too many cars and not enough road. A large part of the problem has to do with what’s called throughput. How efficiently – or not – do the number of cars pass through the available network of roads? U.S. highways (and especially secondary roads) have terrible throughput. The roads are stop-and-go congealed; getting anywhere seems to take forever. Or rather, longer than it ought to. Because – in general – American drivers are terrible. Lazy, oblivious, often poorly skilled. Above all, they are slow. As if in … Continue reading →

What can your car tell you just by the way it smells – or tastes? A lot, actually. Let’s put on our chef hats and see what’s cooking… * Car smells like maple syrup –  Almost always, this is a sign the cooling system’s sprung a leak. The chemicals in engine coolant give off a syrupy sweet smell that’s particularly noticeable when the fluid is hot (as when the engine’s been running for awhile) and dripping onto something even hotter – like an exhaust manifold – and burning off as you drive. If you smell that smellinside the car, check … Continue reading →

What if you build it – and they don’t come? Send the bill to the taxpayers! Twice. This is how you make money in the New America. Well, the green America. Don’t earn it. Steal it. The “business model” is simple enough: Glom on to a politically high-fashion issue – electric cars, for instance. Then obtain government (meaning, taxpayer) “help” to fund their design and manufacture. When no one – or not enough – people buy your electric wunderwagen, simple declare bankruptcy and walk away. With your pockets full of other people’s money. Then, when the smoke clears, do it again. … Continue reading →

This weekend we celebrate the changing of our guard. Which, when you stop to think about it, is more than a little odd. Do the inmates of Rikers Island throw a party when they get a new warden? To celebrate the changing of the color of the uniforms worn by their cagers? And yet, we do. This coming weekend, Americans will celebrate not being free to – among other things: Buy and display fireworks themselves. Choose whether to wear a seat belt. Say “no thanks” to the health insurance mafia. Travel without permission (and decline to produce your “papers” on demand). … Continue reading →