Tag: dreams

The Leftovers is quite frankly a depressing shitfest of a really great show! Its buildups lead to great catharsis and the finales of both seasons have been very satisfying so if you plan on watching it, prepare to get really angry at times but be assured that it’s all leading to something worthwile. The creators fully admit it’s filled with loads of religious symbolism. I binged it in 3 days and avoided spoilers as much as possible in this post. The premise:

Now first of all, this Sudden Departure is and will not be explained! When the series was pissing me off I felt like the writers went to the writingprompts subreddit and gave 0 fucks to explain it, but it really works and I’ll tell you why:
My angry depressed self reacted to this show’s characters early on with “So what? People have disappeared, why would this break so many people? Just move on.” My sentence wasn’t finished in my head when I realized I only said this because I have been single for more than ten years because “the one” dumped me out of nowhere. That realization hit hard, and the show became gripping. Watch the embedded trailer here to understand this post better.

There is no reason given for the Sudden Departure, just as the reason given by my last ex was about as meaningful as that. “We never go out” was about the only reason given after two years and that was the first time I heard that complaint. I broke completely that afternoon. I had just come from work, I was singing along to music in my car happy because I knew she would be waiting for me, little did I know why. I threatened to kill myself then and there and I was depressed for about half of the decade that followed. Truth be told I had started to show cracks months earlier, working in IT was not how I envisioned it, with a terrible atmosphere at work and I was already depressed for a good few months. I’m sure that had something to do with the breakup aswell. 

So these characters need to deal with loved ones disappearing without a reason, just like me. Some join a cult dressed in white, they stop talking and they stand outside vulnerable peoples homes just staring and smoking cigarettes. Their purpose simply to remind people of the Sudden Departure and the meaninglessness of it all. Like annoying faceless triggers they get screamed at for no other reason than being there. Since I started hating people in general for a good while, I found the metaphor really strong. It also struck a cord because I had embraced the 2012 bs for a long while because a part of me just wanted it all to end, thankfully by the time that december came I was in another job I enjoyed quite a bit more because I made 3 good new friends there. I don’t wanna spoil the series in any way but the experience of both seasons killed my depressed self and made me reborn with hope again.

So then last night after the final episode, I went to bed. I had to pick up my folks from the airport that morning very early so I had not slept the night before and already slept from about nine till five in the afternoon, it was around five in the morning when I went to bed and I dreamt my mother had disappointed me by leaving me alone, I fell off a high narrow flight of stairs and was convulsing heavily in front of a big metal door. A group of people in hazmat suits looked at me like I was done for and joked if I wanted to stay or come along, I could barely move! Sweating and barely able to breathe in the fetal position, full of the worst pain I knew just like I felt in real life for nearly two weeks a few months ago when I was suffering from terrible congestion and lost 7 kilograms related to my Late Stage Lyme. 

I looked up, and as they opened the door – not helping me in anyway but stepping beside me – I dragged myself inside with my final strength. They laughed and cheered. They didn’t owe me anything but opened the door, I had to drag myself through it. It was an elevator and we went up to a Sushi restaurant where I felt a lot better right away. It was a fun dinner, discussing among other random dream things Vin Diesel and the Japanese language. Afterwards I found myself in my old room where I grew up, a pretty girl that looked like Kittens had insects crawling around her feet. I wasn’t disgusted but took her to the bathroom where we shared a bath and some other fun activities.

I woke up feeling as happy as I did after my favorite mushroom trip, but it was really cold. I went to check the thermostat in the living room. It said it was 06.06 which was odd because it was close to noon, no wonder it was cold, the night setting was still on. I looked at the date and it was 24 december 2012. Not 21 but close enough to give me a big really smile. Just like the characters in the series I didn’t understand what was going on but was laughing.

I went back to bed to wake up after only a few hours of sleep and listened to my sleep playlist on my phone which I started by shuffling it, it’s like every damn song was talking to me. What follows is a ridiculous long list of lyrics I’m gonna share:

I fully realize it’s probably not as easy for someone else to see the subjective connections I’m seeing but anyway those are a few good songs to share nonetheless! I’m ready to go on with my life again. As they say in the show…